Opened heart

I always thought that I had this huge open heart. I thought I was this good person because I don't do bad things and I do some comfortable good things. Oh, how the Lord has been opening my heart to real life. Have I just woken up? I've been feeling so unprepared for this mission trip but couldn't figure out why. All of my check boxes are checked (not my vaccinations, they are stuck in Hotlanta because of ice), but I've been doubting myself. Doubting my abilities. Doubting why God chose me and/or if He chose me. What if I just chose myself and said it was God? I prayed a sincere prayer. "Lord, what am I doing and am I truely doing this in Your name?"Over the last 24 hours I have been reminded that God is God, he is sovereign. I have never really applied that word to MY life before, and just nodded my head in agreement when other people used it. Now, I just want to tell everyone. God IS sovereign!!! He just is! His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, His ways higher than my ways. I don't even know the answer to my prayer yet, but I know that fact. After thirteen years of having faith in God and in my Lord Jesus Christ I have a deep stirring in my heart and I am alive for Him! YAY!!!